How else would you know what is POWERFUL without this?1. Shaunie O'Neal - Taking Diesel for half, and getting the entire city of Miami while Shaq gets shipped to the sweaty sphincter of America? You'll have to allow me a "You go girl!"
"Laugh it up big man, cause imma be handlin' more Cuban pork than a South Beach Deli."
2. The Ghost of Wellington Mara - Downside: You died before you saw your team win the big one with Eli. Upside: You had snuff film producer/connoiseur money.
3. Alternates - Congratulations to the Foot Ballers that will play the meaningless game this weekend. But remember, if it wasn't for Brady and Moss taking a pass to lotion each other's sore vaginas, you'd just be another millionaire athlete in Continental America.
4. Pau Gasol - May your European values be a beacon of light in your new home of plastic and fast talking. I give you 3 weeks until the news leaks that you're banging Fernando Valley porn starlets.
5. Michael Irvin - I think that there may be Teflon interlaced into this guy's DNA. Seriously, how is this guy NOT in jail?
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