Gasolina? No mas.

The Twins traded a goatee that would make Tom Selleck wet for a bag of NY Mets chin pubes on Tuesday afternoon. It is surely raining shit on Minnesota sports fans. In what has become an almost annual tradition the "land of lakes" lost its third superstar in four years to a slob infested east coast city. Oh well, at least we didn't trade him to the Cowboys. We brought three Lombardi trophies to that toilet, and I still can't get laid in Texas.