Thursday, March 6, 2008

WEEKEND POWER RANKINGS!

I took last week off due to a new 50" Plasma. I put the baby oil and towels away. Here we go...

1. #4 Car - Hats off to Brett Favre. Greatest statistical QB of all time. While you broke my heart and took my excitement level for next season from a 9 to a 4, Wisconsin sports will forever have Minnesota sports trumped for greatest all time athelete. Any sport.

A. "Stay the fuck away, Chmura. These 2 are off limits."
B. Yeah, this probably beats road crunchies and multi-million dollar contracts...
C. "I know they're both mine, but i'll be damned if I can remember siring either one."
D. All of the above
2. - John Daly - Jon Gruden is your caddy, and my new favorite summertime drink is named after you. [Arnold Palmer (Iced Tea/Lemonade) + Lots o' Vodka] (ed. note  Is there any chance Gruden offered Daly a backup QB roster spot?)
3. - Wide Receivers - Are you friggin' kidding me with this free agency signings? I'm sure that Ike Bruce and Donte' Stallworth will pan out just fine. Lots of upside on that... P.S. Jacksonville Jaguars are no longer going to be my favorite AFC South team if they pick up another shit wide-out. I'm not kidding. Watch it, assholes.
4. - Houston Rockets - 16 wins? in a row? Really? Somebody wake up Tracy McGrady.
5. - Warrick Dunn - Why do I feel like I have to apologize for Dunn's unceremonious dismissal? I know teams need to move on, but come on, this guy is the Mother Theresa of the NFL. He's built a house for every single mother in Georgia. I'm serious, google it.

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