What's In A Name?

After much debate on what to call David Tyree's exhilarating catch in Super Bowl XLII, Sports Illustrated released their special Super Bowl issue yesterday dubbing, what might have been the greatest catch in SB history, "The Immaculate Snatch."
Women in the community are in an uproar stating that the cover of this magazine is vulgar and makes them feel vulnerable.
Moms everywhere are asking for the issue to be pulled from shelves.

Pujols clean, cites fear of God

After booting a St. Louis news crew from his Monday press conference for incorrectly naming him in the Mitchell Report, Cards slugger Albert Pujols fired back at doubters. This shout-out to the man upstairs ought to do the trick, or he just gave Kid Rock an idea for his next shitty single:

"How much better can I get? Only God knows. Do I need to cheat in this game to get better? This is a hobby, man. I fear God too much to do stupid things in this game. Cheating on this game, that's not right."

Baseball is a hobby you say? Unknown to many outside of the Cards organization, Pujols' official function with the team is using his forehead as a projection screen for breaking down opposing pitchers. In a related story, still no word from Chuck Knoblauch on his subpoena. Don't expect much praise for the almighty though. It's possible Knoblauch is still a little salty over the lack of divine intervention he received in the 2000 season when he couldn't keep his throws to 1st base from hitting Keith Olbermann's mom in the face.