F*ck me...

Jesus H. Christ that stings.

You can skip the Superbowl...

Why watch the Pats mercilessly beat the Giants in HD, when you can see it in Tecmo Super Bowl 8-Bit glory?

The First Half

The Second Half

St. Luke’s Hospital to hold Celebrity Mercy Tournament for the Homeless.

Early August Event:
All proceeds will go to that guy who rides his girls bike on the railroad tracks. Among some of the more high profile Mercy competitors will be Shaquile O'Neal, Brett Favre, Arsenio Hall, and John "Step Right Up"Carney. "August 3rd will be a day of agony for some, and ironing for others" Shaq says.

F.H. Hump Day Poll:

Hey Billy, who'd you rather bone?

Deanna Favre or Princess Diana?

Santana CD's to be sold on eBay

Available for Batmitzvahs

Tuesday afternoon's deal involving Johan Santana set off a firestorm of activity in the Twins multimedia department. Shortly after the announcement, all Santana CD's were immediately removed, and set to be sold on eBay. There were some hugs and tears as "Smooth", "Black Magic Woman", Oye Como Va", and "Evil Ways" played for the last time.

Somewhere Carlos Santana was putting his hands together and bowing.

Gasolina? No mas.

The Twins traded a goatee that would make Tom Selleck wet for a bag of NY Mets chin pubes on Tuesday afternoon. It is surely raining shit on Minnesota sports fans. In what has become an almost annual tradition the "land of lakes" lost its third superstar in four years to a slob infested east coast city. Oh well, at least we didn't trade him to the Cowboys. We brought three Lombardi trophies to that toilet, and I still can't get laid in Texas.

KG makes rare 4th quarter appearance

Career fourth quarter Siegfried and Roy disciple Kevin Garnett stole the ball from Minnesota's Sebastian Telfair as time expired to seal an unimpressive 87-85 Celtics victory last night in Boston. Thank God the Celtics didn't need a score from #5 in the closing seconds, I don't know who he would've passed to now that Dean Garrett is retired.

"Dem titties was out to HERE!"

Watch yourself Danny Ainge. If the "Ticket" comes into your office and demands that you sign Joe Smith and Troy Hudson do what McHale wouldn't, politely close the door in his face.